The month of Elul on the Jewish calendar this year began at sundown on August 20th and concludes with the arrival of Rosh Hashanah (1st of Tishri) at sundown on September 18th. This is traditionally a time for each of us to undertake cheshbon hanefesh (“an accounting of the soul”) as we review our deeds, misdeeds, acts and omissions of the year that is ending. Part of this process is the making of amends with those in our lives whom we may have hurt or offended. The process culminates at Yom Kippur (the “Day of Atonement”), on the 10th of Tishri, which this year begins at sundown on September 27th. The sages teach that the 10th of Tishri was the day on which Moses returned from the mountain top with the second set of tablets, replacing the first set that he had smashed in the wake of the incident of the Golden Calf.
The second set of tablets thus symbolizes the possibility of forgiveness and of moving forward despite the mistakes of the past. It’s not exactly about “letting bygones be bygones.” Our tradition teaches that the broken fragments of the first set of tablets were placed next to the unbroken replacement tablets in the Ark of the Covenant. They remain part of our “permanent record.” And indeed, the literal translation of the Hebrew word “kippur” is not exactly “atonement” but rather “covering over.” (The cover of the ark of the covenant in Hebrew is called “kapporet,” from the same Hebrew root as “kippur”.). Covered, not erased.
To me, what this teaches is that our experiences in life remain with us. There is no “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” In the normal state of affairs, we don’t obliterate past sins and hurts so much as we move past them and incorporate their lessons into our future behavior. So too do our acts of kindness, our joys and our loves in our past remain part of who we are even after they are behind us chronologically.
We hope and pray that all our experiences leading up to the present moment can help us to be better people in the new year.
The year 5780 that is now ending has been more of an emotional roller coaster than any time I can remember in my life, with the possible exception of the days and months following the attacks of September 11, 2001. We are all trying to live our lives as normally as possible while 170,000 of our fellow Americans have died from Covid-19 and while our world is still in the throes of the pandemic. And we are all trying to be Rodfei Tzedek (“pursuers of righteousness”) while the legacy of our society’s “original sins” of slavery, Jim Crow and systemic racism have yet to be even covered over, let alone erased.
It’s a time of cheshbon hanefesh not just in our personal lives but in the life of our nation. And as national elections loom ahead, we find ourselves in the midst of some of the worst societal fissures that I can ever recall.
And we won’t even get to hug each other in shul this High Holiday season!
But let’s not despair. We still, each and every one of us, have so many blessings to appreciate and so much to be thankful for each and every day. We do plan to meet in person at Chester Bowl for Tashlich (on the first afternoon of Rosh Hashanah) and for a family service (on the second afternoon of Rosh Hashanah). And our High Holiday services on Zoom will be a time when we can connect as well – with one another and with the Divine.
As the saying goes “gam zeh ya’avor” (“This too shall pass.”)
I wish for everyone a meaningful High Holiday season. As 5781 approaches, let us be gentle with ourselves and one another – yet fierce in our pursuit of a more just and compassionate society.
L’shanah tovah tikateyvu
(“May you be inscribed for a good year”),
Rabbi David Steinberg
rabbidavid@jewishduluth.org
